May 2013
louistheking:
i say such sexual and inappropriate things but in reality i’m the biggest virgin you’ll ever meet
fake-mermaid:
nakked-animals:
fake-mermaid:
do americans just call it chap stick do you guys ever say lip balm chap stick is weird
are you american
would i be asking this question if i was american dammit
221b-bag-end:
loungezombie:
i wonder if there’s an actual heaven and if there’s an actual angel called Castiel up there who’s just like “FOR FUCKS SAKE CAN THESE TEENAGERS STOP CALLING ME”
“whY DID I GET A SUDDEN INCREASE IN PRAYERS IN 2009”
louderdecibelle:
koizumim:
really though
if breasts, butts and legs are so distracting to men, to the point they cant function
why arent they that distracting to lesbians
and at that point
why isnt the penis bulge and legs not distracting enough to gay men to warrant men being put under the same dress codes
#spoilers: its because its bullshit
monilip:
dont-stop-runninggg:
knowledge is knowing that a tomato is a fruit
wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad
That was deep
berlynn-wohl:
claricedemedici:
dareandwriteitdown:
egredi:
Reblog if your boobs glow in the dark.
#mine glow blue when orcs are near
mine go ding when there’s stuff
Mine are the real
leeeeverett:
today these two kids in my math class were hitting each other with pencils and my teacher glared at them and said “could you try to be a little more mature?” one of them screamed “TAXES” and punched the other kid in the face
notahoe:
there are like 3 or 4 songs in my itunes library that make me go from depressed young adult to full on stripper in 0.02 seconds
dietchola:
do twin boys have the same penis size?
darthhaven:
primaniallerina:
wackcalzone:
my type
that guy in the state farm commercial that says “can i get a hot tub” like hes prayin in a church
He is adorable.
“We live in a world where we have to hide to make love, while violence is...”
–
John Lennon
(via girlslovesextoo)
It’s kind of ridiculous that you’re expected to get out of bed EVERY day
canadiansigh:
If I’m a sarcastic asshole when I talk to you its either because I really like you and feel comfortable teasing you
Or I really hate you and don’t care if you know it
Good luck figuring out which one
bangcaster:
you can still be thick and have a thigh gap
kapooyah:
bellabracha:
what even IS american culture
it’s just a big ball of different cultures with no set value
i don’t get it
fake-mermaid:
how are we almost in june i swear we were in march 2 days ago
partybarackisinthehousetonight:
BREAKING NEWS: painter hospitalized after too many strokes
inbox:
Like a good neighbor, I do not care
scvlptures:
depression is when you don’t really care about anything
anxiety is when you care too much about everything
and having both is just like what
ex-cuse-u:
i was browsing through ellen degeneres’ youtube videos and when i was watching her interview segments i noticed a trend where she keeps the comments enabled for all of her adult interviews but when she has a child on the show she disables any of the comments to protect the child from any bullying or negative feedback and that is why she and her team of producers are incredible
fictitiousfake:
J.K Rowling said that her inspiration for Hagrid came from when she was 19 in a pub in the west country and this terrifying looking guy came in with these other biker guys and the only thing he talked to J.K about was how his cabbages were getting on
lusture:
lusture:
omg I’m at work and a group of like 13 year old girls come in and order their lattes or whatever and one girl is like can you Instagram this with all our names on it? and her friend is like ya totally and so I may have put a q in the middle of all of their names so they got their coffee and were like “omg what the hell we can’t take a picture of this” Im literally the worst...
megaman2:
megaman2:
“mickey mouse it says you want to divorce minnie because she was…… extremely silly?”
“no, i said she was fucking goofy”
please stop reblogging this i stole this joke from my brother
scvlptures:
depression is when you don’t really care about anything
anxiety is when you care too much about everything
and having both is just like what
friendlycloud:
hitlervevo:
why the fuck cant we text the police
lets say there is a murderer in ur house and you’re hiding behind your sofa and you do have your phone with you but you can’t call the police because the murderer might hear you
Relevant
Reblog if your music taste is fucking beautiful.
satans-fabulous-blog:
morphingly:
brightredkettle:
are you the SAT because i’d do you for 3 hours and 45 minutes
with a ten minute break halfway through for snacks
That’s the most reasonable pick up line I’ve ever heard. You’re hired.
ipoog:
i wish girls could have sleep overs with boys without the whole they gonna fuck attitude
slydig:
tsarbucks:
slydig:
dont be mean
be median or mode
damn math fandom bloggers
meoplelikepeople:
acrackinthetardis:
nickgrimshade:
do you ever remember that harry is only 18 years old and he’s been accused of sleeping with 410 women and breaking up 3 marriages and he can’t even get a tattoo without being surrounded by thousands of girls and he has no privacy and never actually gets to just be an 18 year old kid
For a minute I thought you were talking about Harry...
baboushkat:
the optician asked me how many hours i spend on my laptop yesterday and i really quietly said “10-14” and she said “pardon?” 4 times
antst00fs:
I can’t believe the soda company from Hey Arnold bought Tumblr
